| home |
me |
desires |
friends |
speak |
credits |
Day 7
Saturday, January 07, 2006 @ 11:12 PM
It's day 7. I finally feel better today. But if you were to ask how was I yesterday, I wasn't too good. Anyway, I haven't been feeling good for the past week. Didn't speak to anyone openly about my feelings. I mean, it would be really selfish of me to make others around me feel sad for me. Everything was bottled up inside until the dam broke yesterday. Yah, I'm definitely better today.
So many regrets so much guilt. There were signs last week but I didn't take notice. I wish I could have done better. All I need was a word or two, some assurance to make me feel at peace. But I got no last words. I guess I need some closure.
Worse are those times alone on the bus or alone in bed at night. Keep having so many flashbacks, so many words that were spoken, some that were not, lovely memories. To deal with those times alone on the bus, I bring a book along with me to school. I picked out "Tuesdays with Morrie". I know it's a good book but I didn't get a chance to read it. Got it quite some time ago from one of my crazy shopping spree at Kino. I always get novels but only have time for them during the holidays. Usually I have to read books on Java, Information systems, database systems, software engineering etc etc etc. As you know, curriculum...
Oh..back to topic, I picked out that book at random. I wanted to read on the bus to distract me from thinking sad thoughts. But somehow the book made me confront those thoughts (in a good way). I was only at the 4th page and I was touched. About life's greatest lesson..discussed about death too. I hope I will gain some insights from the book and help me to heal. I marked some points I liked personally, will probably discuss them in my next post.
It's day 7. I finally feel better today. But if you were to ask how was I yesterday, I wasn't too good. Anyway, I haven't been feeling good for the past week. Didn't speak to anyone openly about my feelings. I mean, it would be really selfish of me to make others around me feel sad for me. Everything was bottled up inside until the dam broke yesterday. Yah, I'm definitely better today.
So many regrets so much guilt. There were signs last week but I didn't take notice. I wish I could have done better. All I need was a word or two, some assurance to make me feel at peace. But I got no last words. I guess I need some closure.
Worse are those times alone on the bus or alone in bed at night. Keep having so many flashbacks, so many words that were spoken, some that were not, lovely memories. To deal with those times alone on the bus, I bring a book along with me to school. I picked out "Tuesdays with Morrie". I know it's a good book but I didn't get a chance to read it. Got it quite some time ago from one of my crazy shopping spree at Kino. I always get novels but only have time for them during the holidays. Usually I have to read books on Java, Information systems, database systems, software engineering etc etc etc. As you know, curriculum...
Oh..back to topic, I picked out that book at random. I wanted to read on the bus to distract me from thinking sad thoughts. But somehow the book made me confront those thoughts (in a good way). I was only at the 4th page and I was touched. About life's greatest lesson..discussed about death too. I hope I will gain some insights from the book and help me to heal. I marked some points I liked personally, will probably discuss them in my next post.
This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own and not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.
Day 7
